Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Family matters

My mom titles all her emails to us "Family matters". I know that she is referring to matters, as in "issues", but I like to think that it's more like "Family MATTERS". It means something.

My family is huge, and with huge families comes a lot of crazy. There's always a few people who are not speaking, who have waged some kind of war on each other over some words that were said and probably not meant. But words are just words and my family is big on forgiveness and even bigger on love.


I think all parents & kids have issues that strain their relationship, especially when the kids are in their teens & 20's. Somehow all problems seem larger than they really are when you're still young and have yet to really experience the way that life can cut you in two.
When you get a few more years under your belt, you start to realize that life is bigger than you. Other people have feelings and the things you say & do have a real, lasting effect on the ones you love.
You also find yourself making some of the same choices as your parents and finally get a glimpse of understanding just what the hell the people who raised you were thinking.

And, when you are a parent and you hit a rough patch with your own children, it is really, quite humbling.
You will want to call your mom (and your dad & grandpa & grandma & aunts & uncles & even maybe some of your old teachers) and apologize for having been a complete and total mess of a human being in your younger years.

But when you do call your parents and ask them how they got through those days with you and they answer that they had no idea what they were doing, either, it's like the biggest weight being lifted off your shoulders.
There's nothing more encouraging than knowing that the people you respect and look to for guidance & support are just fumbling through life doing the best they can, too.

They never had the answers, either, and somehow you all made it out alive.

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