Being a stay at home mom is hard. It's hard in all the usual ways having to do with wrangling multiple children, chauffeuring them from place to place, breaking up fights, wiping noses, preparing meals we hope they will eat, laundry, dishes, sleep deprivation.
But you know what the hardest part is? Feeling like you are alone.
The reality is that Motherhood can be the most amazing thing in the world and also the thing that leaves you feeling most isolated.
You might be living in a major city surrounded by people but when you are alone in your home, in the middle of the afternoon with a screaming toddler, a sick grade-schooler, a back-talking teenager and you are running on 3 hours of sleep, it suddenly seems like you have been dropped via helicopter in the middle of an uncharted island with nothing but your wits......which unfortunately happen to be in short supply.
This is when a good mama friend would come in handy.
If for nothing else than to talk you out of the bathroom that you've locked yourself in.
The problem is finding a mama friend. I used to have a big list of things I wanted in friends:
They had to be pro-BF'ing, had to be attachment parents, had to like cool music, had to eat healthy, had to be be atheist, had to be "alternative", had to fit some unrealistic idea I had of what a cool mama friend should be.
And although moms like those do exist, and some have become my forever friends, I didn't realize that I was totally limiting myself.
There is no "Perfect Mom" mold that women either fit into or don't.
Great moms come in all shapes, sizes & spiritual backgrounds.
Some great moms are hippie unschoolers and some are conservative prep schoolers.
Some have houses so clean you could eat off their floor and some have never used a dust rag.
Some great moms are yellers. Some use the time out method.
Some don't believe in rules at all.
Great moms friends can have different parenting styles and still respect each other.
They can agree and they can disagree.
What really matters in a great mom friend is that they show their kids unconditional love and do the same for you. Those are my requirements.
Find somebody like that and you're golden.
I don't know what pro-BF'ing is, haha. But I would still love to meet up. You seem like a very busy but awesome lady.
ReplyDeleteFinding mom friends is often as hard as finding a mate. I used to think my mom friends had to approach parenting in the exact same way, but this was before I had my baby and discovered the way a mom parents is often connected to the kind of baby she has. Plus, judgment is a major mood killer on a mom date.
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