Brand new day

One week from today is my 34th birthday.
There's nothing particularly special about turning 34, and I'm not the kind of girl that expects or needs to be celebrated. But, the last couple years of my life have not been easy.
Ok, so maybe the last 20 years haven't been easy.
That's not what I'm here to talk about, but that is why I'm here.

Most people make resolutions on the dawning of a New Year. Not me. I save mine for my birthday. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a narcissist. I just think that your birthday is the perfect time to reflect on the previous year and all the things you did or did not do.
I have been through the ringer lately, and on many days I have wondered if (not when) I will ever be happy, if I will ever have the chance to live a life free of this onslaught of daily sorrows.
And then I realized that I don't have to wait. Life goes on whether you spend it crying or laughing.

So, for my 34th birthday I have decided to make a promise to myself.
I will do at least one thing every day to make myself happy.
I will do the things I have always been afraid to do.
I will live not just for others but for myself and I will not feel guilty.
I will have a meaningful life.
I will find myself again, and I will be happy.

No mom is an island

Being a stay at home mom is hard. It's hard in all the usual ways having to do with wrangling multiple children, chauffeuring them from place to place, breaking up fights, wiping noses, preparing meals we hope they will eat, laundry, dishes, sleep deprivation.
But you know what the hardest part is? Feeling like you are alone.
The reality is that Motherhood can be the most amazing thing in the world and also the thing that leaves you feeling most isolated.
You might be living in a major city surrounded by people but when you are alone in your home, in the middle of the afternoon with a screaming toddler, a sick grade-schooler, a back-talking teenager and you are running on 3 hours of sleep, it suddenly seems like you have been dropped via helicopter in the middle of an uncharted island with nothing but your wits......which unfortunately happen to be in short supply.
This is when a good mama friend would come in handy.
If for nothing else than to talk you out of the bathroom that you've locked yourself in.

The problem is finding a mama friend.  I used to have a big list of things I wanted in friends:
They had to be pro-BF'ing, had to be attachment parents, had to like cool music, had to eat healthy, had to be be atheist, had to be "alternative", had to fit some unrealistic idea I had of what a cool mama friend should be.
And although moms like those do exist, and some have become my forever friends, I didn't realize that I was totally limiting myself.
There is no "Perfect Mom" mold that women either fit into or don't.
Great moms come in all shapes, sizes & spiritual backgrounds.
Some great moms are hippie unschoolers and some are conservative prep schoolers.
Some have houses so clean you could eat off their floor and some have never used a dust rag.
Some great moms are yellers. Some use the time out method.
Some don't believe in rules at all.
Great moms friends can have different parenting styles and still respect each other.
They can agree and they can disagree.
What really matters in a great mom friend is that they show their kids unconditional love and do the same for you.  Those are my requirements.
Find somebody like that and you're golden.