Dear fellow Sacramentons:
Yesterday something happened. I realize that for some of you it was very confusing and frightening.
But, I assure you there was nothing to be afraid of.
You know that stuff that was falling from the sky?
You will be happy to hear that it was not, in fact, shards of broken glass.
It was merely rain!
Rain is a watery liquid that occasionally falls from the sky. It nourishes our farmland and allows for all the things that California is known for to bloom and grow.
Rain will not hurt you. Sure, it makes the roads wet & slippery and you should drive a little slower, and leave a little more room between you and the other cars on the road.
You don't have to hassle yourself with braking inexplicably every 15 feet, or lowering your speed limit to 11 miles per hour. But driving with your lights on is a good idea. Using your blinker when you decide to wait till the last minute to merge across 4 lanes of freeway would be smart, too.
If, after reading this, you still think it's a good idea to drive halfway in one lane and halfway in the other while moving approximately 7 miles an hour with no lights on, please just do the rest of us a favor and stay off the dang road.