Friday, September 10, 2010

When I was bad

There are things that we do in life that we cannot take back, as much as we wish we were able to.  There are things that linger in my memory even after decades have passed and wounds have been healed. My wrongs never seem to right themselves in my mind.
They are as much a part of me as my own skin, which I wear for all to see.

By the age of 14, I was a drug addict.
By the age of 15, I was a victim of assault.
By the age of 16, I was a run-away.
By the age of 17, I was a mother.
By the age of 18, I was a wife.
By the age of 19, I was divorced.
By the age of 20, I was a mistress.
By the age of 21, I was an alcoholic.

I have lived through these things and more in my 31 years, and managed to come out whole. Slightly ulcerated in places but yes, still whole. I try my best to not let my mind linger on my former life. I cannot change my history and I cannot live with regret. The only thing I can do is move forward, doing better than I did when I was bad.

I am a wife again. I am a mother 4 times over. I am a friend. I am me again, only better.
I am new.


  1. Thank you so much for that, Sarah <3

  2. Oh you are much braver than I. I don't think I could post my list like that. But I thank you for posting yours. Really. I feel like I totally just connected with you.

  3. I just had to come back here and read this again. I love that you posted this, because like you, I agree that we should NEVER feel like we cant tell our truths. And that true freedom comes from doing just that. I've scratched the surface on my blog... maybe even a little below the surface, but there are layers. So many layers. Meet me IRL and I'm an open book -online, I have to watch it because I NEVER KNOW who's reading/watching. If it's a member of my family? Prepare for the wrath of satan's army.

  4. My Dear Sweet Casey Lynn - I love you inside and out. I love you for who you were, for who you are now, and for who you are becomming. I look up to you and admire you. I relate to you, even though I am much older our life paths have gone the same way.
    I have learned to embrace my past life because without it, I would not be the person I am today.
    I also no longer have any guilt or shame over it because I have been born again. If you are ever interesting in hearing about the freedom I have through the love of Jesus I will be happy to share it.
    You have a wonderful family and have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

  5. What?

    Laying it all out there? Honesty? Moving forward with no regrets? No shame? No dwelling in the past?

    Whoever you are?

    This new you?

    This new you who owns and embraces the old you?

    I like you very much.


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